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[May. 15th, 2006|09:12 pm] |
i dont know what the fuck to do anymore...
andrew kicked me out of his apartment... hes trying to say everything was my fault... i shouldnt have lead him on. i feel ike a bitch for that...
when me and denton started getting all weird and shit... not talking... i went to andrew... he was my best friend and i didnt know who else to go to... i admit i used him as a rebound, and i feel like a total bitch for that shit... i tried telling him that i just wanted to be his friend. but i guess that wasnt good enough, 2 days later he kicked me out of his apartment... saying it was for my own good to get away from all the drugs and whatnot... yeah ... riiiight... hes the one who bought me all the fucking drugs... now it seems like hes turning everyone against me and all of this other bullshit... i dont know what to do anymore. i dont know who my real friends are and whos fake. i cant trust anyone anymore and its fucked up.
i love with my grandparents again... im getting a job... im going out to pick up a few applications tomorrow. i need to get my shit straight... as soon as i get my money gathered up and shit... i am leaving fayetteville. fuck this place. im going to memphis. i know there are soo many people there that care for me. and i need to get away from all of this negative energy. andrew told me that the other night when i got soooo drunk, every one hated me because of it... and he said that everything is all my fault. is that how it is?? i dont even know anymore.
GOD -- i need out. |
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[May. 11th, 2006|02:01 pm] |
so i guess me and denton are.. over?
this is werd i havent talked to him in like a whole week, and we usually talk a few times every day...
hes being an asshole and saying its funny to see how i react to things.... im like wtf why would you do that?
hes weird as fuck sometimes and i cant stand it.
and andrew and me are in this weird situation, like idk... i just wants to be friends, and he wants more than that... but he says if we just start being friends all over again itll ruin our friendship.... whatever. i like him, maybe ill stick with it.
idk i just want to be free to like whoever i want without feeling guilty. i feel like ive been tied down to a guy for too long.
uh im stressin, i need to go on a vacation.
by myself.
without andrew.
for a few days.
without talking to denton either. |
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[May. 9th, 2006|12:17 pm] |
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life is fucked up man.... =( |
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[Apr. 18th, 2006|11:31 am] |
yeah so this is my first entry.
i have sold oput double time and got a live journal
now everyone who wants to pry into my life can!! now they can read all about it, my deepeest most intimate thoughts are going to be put out on the internet. but ill do that later, because i'm about to leave to my apartment.
k bye. |
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vicki_vizzle's journal